Kruxx vs. Hawkeye (5-0) KO

[Kruxx]

You go first, 1 spit each, max 20 lines. 3 votes KO, otherwise first to 5. No feeding or other shit meh. ur here, spit.

[Kruxx]

Come on, you said you'd have a verse up within the hour

[hawkeye]

I'll remove kruxx's rust faster then clr
after I'm done you talent will need cpr
rhyming in a sauna but still not steaming
like eating piranha win this your dreaming
you should have run I'm the mod beater
jenny craig you couldn't help but eat her
after this madchild will be the only one escaped*
raping you figuratively like I got your ass gaped

can't grasp my shit even if there's feces in your palms
said about your audio is "hey listen peices of my songs"
in a wheelchair cause I cripple beyond the crutches
expose the flaws that ripple in every song of kruxx's
your voice is altered like a sega genisis beast**
every bar you faultered rate you one the least
you can't freestyle for you it takes time to write
your name I'll dephile and expose those you bite

I think your skill's frozen worse then mod's at the ring
call me dwayne jhonson cause it's for you to just bring***
this is just the begining this will be one epic battle
won't let you cut the beef if we're slaughtering cattle

* if I win this Madchild would be only mod I haven't beaten
** altered beast equals old school video game
*** dwayne Johnson = the rock popular saying was just bring it

[Kruxx]

Two links to recent battles I have posted a vote in:

http://forum.eminem.net/showthread.php?t=3904

http://forum.eminem.net/showthread.php?t=3880


My verse:

You've accepted that your fate belongs to me, it's my possession /
Do you regret accepting now?... Another victim to oppression //
I suggest to you, that you go build a large defensive wall /
Or maybe a soft floor, that'll break your fall, 'cause afterall... //
...Battleing Kruxx is like greeting lions with food and no cage /
You're the feeder and the food, I'm the lion, full of rage //
Ready to consume you, and your rhymes just with one bite /
Leave you full of fright, scared to ever sleep again at night //
God almighty Hawkeye, You couldn't defeat me with a nuke /
And if you did aim at my spot and hit me, it'd be a fluke //
My rhymes full of complexity, hidden meanings and such things /
Your rhymes lack content at all, bounce off my body like rubber springs //
Losing to me in battle could be an embarrassment, who knows, /
It could be walking into a wall with an erection but break your nose. //
You've tried to fly from your nest too soon, not ready yet to tackle./
Your rhyming skills are limited, almost as though they're shackled.//
I'm only joking with you Hawkeye, you are not as bad as most /
But certainly not skilled enough to battle me, why even post? //
I think you should re-evaluate your position on this forum /
Like a child, lost it's parents, have no idea what you're doin //

[Kruxx]

Voters now welcome.

[hawkeye]

http://forum.eminem.net/showthread.php?t=3941
http://forum.eminem.net/showthread.php?t=3948

my links

[RipShit]

Consistency/Structure: both
Creativity: both
Enjoyable: kruxx
Flow: hawkeye
Metaphors: hawkeye
Multies: both had em
Personal: hawkeye, got very personal in your audios kruxx
Punches: kruxx, fav line :It could be walking into a wall with an erection but break your nose. haha
Structure: kruxx
Vocabulary: kruxx
Wordplay: both
Overall: kruxx

hawkeyes score: 7
kruxx's score: 8

final vote: kruxx

Best battle I've seen yet on these forums. Hardest one to decide on as well. I enjoyed both of your verses, just thought Kruxx came a little harder, and that line killed me, haha. Props to the both of you.

[Kruxx]

1-0

More voters

[Killa Jones]

Consistency/Structure: KRuxx
Creativity: Hawkeye
Enjoyable: k
Flow: k
Metaphors: h
Multies: h
Personal: h
Punches: k
Structure: k
Vocabulary: k
Wordplay: k
Overall: kruxx

[Kruxx]

2-0 Kruxx, couple more voters

[BigMann313]

Consistency/Structure: Kruxx
Creativity: hawkeye
Enjoyable: kruxx
Flow: kruxx
Metaphors: hawkeye
Multies: hawkeye
Personal: hawkeye
Punches: kruxx
Structure: kruxx
Vocabulary: kruxx
Wordplay: hawkeye
Overall: kruxx

I think both these verse were very good, i liked them alot, just wuz feeling kruxxs more

[bad news]

Consistency/Structure:kruxx
Creativity:kruxx
Enjoyable: hawk
Flow: hawk
Metaphors: hawk
Multies: kruxx
Personal: hawk
Punches: kruxx
Structure: kruxx
Vocabulary: kruxx
Wordplay:kruxx
Overall: kruxx

kruxx's score-8
hawks score-4

good battle

[Kruxx]

3-0 KO, Nice battle Hawk, to be honest I thought you had it ...


*Edit*

Change of plan, I'm accepting Madchild's vote because I want some criticism, this means the votes still carry on until 5

[hawkeye]

3-0 KO, Nice battle Hawk, to be honest I thought you had it ...


*Edit*

Change of plan, I'm accepting Madchild's vote because I want some criticism, this means the votes still carry on until 5
ammo for future rematch......
anyway yes madchild is very helpful and enlightening lets see what he says ....votes to 5 people

props on erection line :clap:

[madchild]

Hawkeye:

I'll remove kruxx's rust faster then clr
after I'm done you talent will need cpr

Pretty decent and creative intro. Kind of personal, since I imagine Kruxx said he's a bit rusty of battling somewhere.

rhyming in a sauna but still not steaming
like eating piranha win this your dreaming

You should of said something like "Even if you rhymed in a sauna, you wouldn't be steaming/" The second line however needs alot of work. I like the piranha thought, I just thing you should of made a metaphor out of the line somehow instead of just throwing away the idea and finding something to rhyme with steaming.

you should have run I'm the mod beater
jenny craig you couldn't help but eat her

I think you need to make your lines more smoother. When I say that, I mean, try making them more like complete sentences in a sense. That first line is only 9 syllables, which is pretty short. You should stay between 12-20 syllable per lines. The "Craig" thing is probably a play off Kruxx's name right? If it is, you probably should have said something in your explanation since probably not everyone knows his real name.

after this madchild will be the only one escaped*
raping you figuratively like I got your ass gaped

Nice bar. Really liked the excaped and ass gaped. Funny too.

can't grasp my shit even if there's feces in your palms
said about your audio is "hey listen peices of my songs

First line was really good and figurative (you can picture it lol). Second line was a let down though.

in a wheelchair cause I cripple beyond the crutches
expose the flaws that ripple in every song of kruxx's

Not bad. But I don't think crutches rhymes with kruxx's. I believe the way Craig pronounces Kruxx in his songs is like "crooks".

your voice is altered like a sega genisis beast**
every bar you faultered rate you one the least

Second line doesn't make sense grammatically and the first line wasn't too appealing to my tastes. However, it wasn't that bad but it seems like you've slackened off since the beginning of the verse.

you can't freestyle for you it takes time to write
your name I'll dephile and expose those you bite

Shit bar. It seems like a filler.

I think your skill's frozen worse then mod's at the ring
call me dwayne jhonson cause it's for you to just bring***

"I think your skills phrozen worse then mods in the battle ring" would have been better IMO. I think you were refering to BR, and if so, again, not everyone voting knows these references. First line was decent, second line was rough.

this is just the begining this will be one epic battle
won't let you cut the beef if we're slaughtering cattle

You need to use commas or read your stuff over. I read it and it doesn't make sense. I have to read alot of your lines a few times to get how the sentence is suppose to be (not that I don't understand what you mean). For example, the first line should read "This is just the beginning of one epic battle" or something like that. The way you have it now, it's two separate sentences I believe. Anyways, not a bad closer.

The main suggestion, is spread out your bars just a bit with more syllables, to help your thoughts across and so every think flows better and punches harder.

Score: 7.5/10

Kruxx:

You've accepted that your fate belongs to me, it's my possession /
Do you regret accepting now?... Another victim to oppression //

Not bad.

I suggest to you, that you go build a large defensive wall /
Or maybe a soft floor, that'll break your fall, 'cause afterall... //

Pretty creative.

...Battleing Kruxx is like greeting lions with food and no cage /
You're the feeder and the food, I'm the lion, full of rage //

Your stuff flows as always and you really wrapped your thoughts up good in this bar. I will say though, your disses don't really seem to hit hard. However, you rap really transitions smoothly from bar to bar, which is nice and different. The words you use, you can really get a picture from them.

Ready to consume you, and your rhymes just with one bite /
Leave you full of fright, scared to ever sleep again at night //

Not bad. You got really good structure and syllable counts. I'd like to see some multies worked in though. Since you always use like 1 syllable rhyming words.

God almighty Hawkeye, You couldn't defeat me with a nuke /
And if you did aim at my spot and hit me, it'd be a fluke //

Seems like a filler. Doesn't really hit hard or is even a personal really (The only thing I could even draw from this and it's very thin is if you're saying his win again Shinoda or anyone in general is luck). Nothing really new that I haven't read before. Like it doesn't stand out for creativity.

My rhymes full of complexity, hidden meanings and such things /
Your rhymes lack content at all, bounce off my body like rubber springs //

Alright bar.

Losing to me in battle could be an embarrassment, who knows, /
It could be walking into a wall with an erection but break your nose. //

Pretty funny bar.

You've tried to fly from your nest too soon, not ready yet to tackle./
Your rhyming skills are limited, almost as though they're shackled.//

I liked it.

I'm only joking with you Hawkeye, you are not as bad as most /
But certainly not skilled enough to battle me, why even post? //

Haha ... for most ppl, I would say never show weakness to your opponent, but I'll let that slide here.

I think you should re-evaluate your position on this forum /
Like a child, lost it's parents, have no idea what you're doin //

"Forum" and "doin" don't really rhyme, but you had some good thoughts in this closer.

I would say you edged ahead of Hawk, slightly, since your flow and structure is amazing. Work more on multies and metaphors and shit would be off the hook.

Score: 8/10

[madchild]

Closed Kruxx wins by KO (5-0).